Journal of Lt. Tupper, Day 280-283 - Final

Day 282 (apparently)

So we defeated the aboleth, which was nice. Nobody died, and we looted the hell out of the place. Turns out we spent eighteen days off-plane. The yuan-ti moved into the keep while we were away, which was downright unsettling. The aboleth had some sort of phylactery set up as a proof against spontaneous exoplanar do-gooder, which Ragnarr managed to lock down. Easy money says the first one we killed had something like that in place.

Not only did we leave the yuan-ti with a fully-functioning obsidian portal, but we went through the damn thing, too. Because clearly there wasn't a boat off that island. Attempts to locate transit on the other side of the portal were met with burning wreckage and snarky dragons that smell several-week-old urine stains and presume they're fresh. After realizing this was a dead end, Ragnarr transported us to his hometown for some reason, where I managed to start in on my final report and everyone else did whatever bloody-minded things came to mind. Something about taking apart a holy symbol they found.

After a night's rest, we set out for Oohmaya as gusts of wind. Currently we are sitting within half a day of Oohmaya, where I have realized I have a horse. This is the best stepping-off point for me, I think. I'll tell them tomorrow and wash my hands of it all. Damned lunatics, the lot of them.


Day 283
Said my farewells, received report from Hrogar for the Order, got out on the road back home. Good riddance. First things first, time to pay off my debts, ending with Helga. I have just enough to pay them and/or their surviving family members off, and to live well enough while I do it. And I forgot what the hells I named my horse. Fortunately the horse forgot, too.

I'd name the backend of the animal after Herakles, but it wouldn't be fair. After all, this horse has never shat on me even once.


Okay, not more than once. Yuck.

More than twice, then.

HERAKLES THINKS POOP JOKES ARE GODSDAMN HILARIOUS.


(Tucked into the journal as a bookmark, and written by David)

To Walter Tupper does Lord-Commander Alfarinn Álfrimsson of the Sable Lions send greetings.

We hope that this missive finds you in good health. We have not received any update from you in some time, which has raised some concern as to your actions given what we have heard. Given our current situation and the enemy's suspected capabilities, we are unwilling to divulge anything on the magnitude of importance that we are discussing in this letter over a sending spell, so we have arranged for the orders to go to Hrogar when he is next in İzmir.

First, let's get the more drastic news out of the way: Since we have received a lack of updates from you, we are assuming that the paladin's mission is going well. Thus, due to the shift in focus in the war, we have transferred your command to the Point Guard, which is more responsible for defending against the forces from the sea that are encroaching more and more on our doorstep every day. We believe that you will be of great service to them going forward, and that your skills are ideally suited to rooting out dissent in our own ranks and in performing certain functions for us in İzmir and beyond. They have agreed to assign you the rank of Lieutenant (1st class), and have agreed to relay commands through us until you can get personally acquainted with your superior officers in Point of Origin on your next visit.

They have brought two issues of note up that they would like us to relay to you.

First, a woman named Helga has been calling after some debts she says that you owe her. I have asked that this message be relayed to you via a sending so that you may settle the matter with her quickly. I am sure you will be prompt in repaying whatever debt you owe to her and hope that you will succeed in getting her out of our hair.

Second, a remote paladin order referring to themselves as "Knights of Heracles" has told us that you have been invited to join their ranks as a recruit. While I do not know if this order is well suited to you, I never knew you had such a courageous streak in you! Congratulations on whatever it is you have done to attract Lord Heracles's attention, I hope you will use the gifts he bestows on you wisely and serve him well.

Finally, they have asked us to relay to you their fervent hope that you will help them get a better grasp of what is going on in İzmir. They hope that on your way back to Point of Origin you will spend some time there, get to know the locals, and can tell them more about the developing circumstances there.

In Service,
Alfarinn Álfrimsson

Lord-Commander of the Sable Lions

Co-Signed:

Morgan ingen Gwyn

Knight-Commander of the Point Guard