Magical Princess Nigori: 0 Brides for 1 Tupper

Dear Ms. Diary,

Do you ever feel like your kind hearted, well thought out attempts to help your subjects go completely unappreciated? I mean, like, you really, really thought about what they needed, and you tried really hard to get them what they needed, and then they're all, like, "Hey, I said my house was cold, but that didn't mean I wanted a magma vent there?" I mean, Sashelas, people can be picky. I mean, you can swim, right? So just don't touch the floor and it'll be the most awesome house ever. I'd practically live there myself, but I've already got a house, so no. And I'm also totally not marrying some old woman, just because you don't want to, and it happens to be the only chance in your whole life anyone might marry you, and I'm even paying your dowry. Do you have any idea how long I'm going to have to wait for my allowance to make back that ten gold?

Well, okay, like an hour, but that's not the point! It's the thought that counts, darn it, and I tried to find Tupper a nice wife, someone he could settle down with, who has nice servants to cook his meals, and enough magic to keep his feet warm, and all those nice things boys are supposed to like. Someone he could settle down with, retire from his life of adventuring, and stop getting in my way with his stupid head and his stupid "Hey, we should tow that ugly boat with your pretty aqua ponies."

AND, when I was unconscious, and maybe dead, well I think maybe dead, which would make all those ghosts alive people, or I was alive, but just not in my body, in which case, would that make them dead? And would I really be alive if I wasn't with my body, or more like some kind of spectre or something, and then I'd have to work for some stupid lich, and that wouldn't be very fun. But anyway! while I was doing... that, whatever that was, Tupper followed me there, too! And he didn't want to explore at all, and didn't like it when I tried to make the pretty paladin boy, who he apparently knew, arcdish or something, and he didn't like it when I stuck my head in the dragon, which was totally safe, because the dragon was dead or I was or whatever, and he didn't want to explore and didn't even come with me when I jumped off that cliff! There was water underneath. He probably wouldn't have died. Though he wouldn't have been manly, either, and squished those spiders like a boy should. I mean, if they're not squishing spiders who, by the way, SHOULDN'T EVEN BE UNDERWATER, then what good are boys? I know octopi that are handier than him. Though the lion guy looked pretty handy. At least like he would have crushed some spiders, if they weren't alive or dead or whatever.

Oh, and illithids? Totally shouldn't be the same kind of dead I am. That's totally not fair. Though he woke me up, so that was nice of him, and if Tupper had been fun at all, he would have gotten woken up, too, but no. Lame!

And is it just me, or is Hrogar getting kind of annoying? It's like he thinks I'm a little kid or something, and can't see through his oh-so-patronizing crap.

Stupid boys.

Maybe I should just give up and date you when Sashie's not around, Ms. Diary. You never talk back to me, and you're never mean. If you were a boy, you'd totally be awesome.

Oh, well. Until next time, Ms. Diary!