Monday, November 9, 2009

From The Journal of Jacob Cayle aka Irwin Foster Dundee III

Day: After Yesterday but Before Tomorrow

Dear Diary,

We totally kicked that squid's ass! (Do squids have asses? I'll have to ask a Ranger and/or a Druid about that the next time such an opportunity presents itself).

First, the squid was all like "I'm totally going to kill you, grrr!" and Arcadius was all like "Oh no you didn't!" and then he flailed around for a while because he's not actually all that well trained for water combat. Not that any of us is, I mean seriously, you'd think at least one of us would have taken swimming lessons back when we were kids or something, but apparently we were all too busy training for skills we thought would be useful for lives as adventurers when we were kids. That must be why I'm only good at things like knowing answers to arcana and spellcraft related questions. Stupid wasted childhood!

Anyway, so we were all trying to fight the squid and generally sucking at it, on account that we were having a hard enough time with not drowing, in spite of having magic earrings specifically designed to keep us from doing so. I drew its attention by hitting it with an eldritch bolt and then failed to do anything for the next minute, dividing my time equally between being crushed by a tentacle and failing to swim.

So Ragnarr did the most good by dividing his time between keeping us healed and summoning things that could actually swim. I tried to do that too and finally managed to swim long enough to summon a Large Water Elemental, which worked with one of Ragnarr's sharks to actually fight the giant squid, but it was kicking both their asses (I'm not sure if Water Elementals have asses either, but that's another question I'll leave for the sages to answer).

So the battle was going sucky, and then Ragnarr had the bright idea to summon a BLOODY FIRE ELEMENTAL into the fight, right next to the squid. Do you know what happens when you summon a fire elemental into water? It blows all the hell up, that's what it does. I'm totally going to have to try that next time I'm underwater.

Anyway, that did some major damage to the squid, but unfortunately finished off the shark and the water elemental. So the squid was still coming at us, and I was getting crushed (yet again), so I decided to stop fighting against the tentacle and take advantage of the fact that while the squid was crushing me, it was also keeping me from needing to swim. So I took aim at it and blasted it in the face! And that was enough to finally finish the bastard off. Hmm, makes me hungry for calamari.

Anyway, now the squid is dead, and we found treasure (which is always nice) and apparently one third of a really powerful staff (which for some reason no one trusts me with, I don't know why. I bet if I studied it long enough I could figure out how to do some really awesome stuff with it, but that's a hypothesis for another day).

Anyway, now we need to figure out what to do next, but I'll let the Paladins figure that out.

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