Ragnarr: Camping in the Desert

Pelor, thank you.

When I look back on what I might have done in that keep, it makes me cringe. The very thought of being stuck in that battle, of having to heal innocent boys who just needed the money, only so they can get up and go get hurt again, it just... I don't think I could have taken it.

Pelor would never ask of me what I cannot give, and this is no exception. Pelor didn't ask me to heal idiots fighting stupid wars, didn't ask me to encourage the bastards. He asked me here, to help this bloody irritating group of bastards and keep them alive long enough to do whatever it is they think they need to do.

At least that's what I'd thought. When I joined these lads, I thought I understood. I thought that Pelor had sent me here as a healer, to keep the lads alive while they did whatever it was they knew they needed to do. And that was what I did, or at least tried to do: to stay out of their way, let them make the decisions Pelor asked them to make and stay out of their way.

But I'm beginning to think that, perhaps, Pelor put me here for a different reason than I'd thought. I'm not just here to keep them alive, to point out where they ought to make a decision and sit back.

These poor bastards haven't the slightest idea what they're doing. Paladins are fine lads, but there's a reason why they don't run things. They don't have much sense of the big picture. You point a Paladin towards a fight, and he can't say no.

And it's admirable, aye. It makes them noble, and damn good at a lot of things. But when we've got a world to save, they're just as apt to forget saving the world because one puppy needs saved.

That's not to say they're not good lads. They're great lads, and good people.

It's just that they lose sight of what we're after, here. They cannot see the cave for the rocks, and that's a problem.

Or it would be, if they had to figure all this out of their own.

And that, I think, is why I'm here. It's to heal them, aye. But, more than that, these lads need guidance, somebody thinking about more than the next fight. Perhaps, even, somebody who'd rather not have the fight at all, if he can help it.

So here I am. Perhaps right where I need to be. Where Pelor needs me to be. Where these lads need to me to be.

And where I suppose I'll stay, until Pelor tells me otherwise.