Nogori and Tupper need to stop fighting and I am about ready to take out their kneecaps all though I could do a lot more damage and we explored more of the keep and Azam and Mystera figured out how to get into the walls because they heard something back there and it was quite an uneventful day until we met the owners of the keep and they had to have been deaf and stupid not to find us with the bickering and it turns out that they are on our side and it is one of those frenemy situations i think and hrogar was talking us into a pit and so was nogori so mystera spoke up and told them why we were there and then we discovered that they had the same goal of ending the threat from the sea and then they sent us on our way to a nearby keep that might have what we want but it also has some sort of plant that they want that is hard to collect so they are having us collect it since they are helping in whatever way they can and the monk is an odd one but a good fighter.
I still miss Fflam though!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Journal of Lt. Tupper, Day 252
Day 252
As we all have yet to be horribly mangled by either powerful monsters or incompetence, we rode out to investigate the island today, on giant rainbow-colored seahorses, in the apparent hopes of changing this.
The island itself is covered in fog and mist, which obscures a fortress. This place serves as the base of operations for a cult that claims to fight against the same forces we do. Nothing suspicious about this setup at all, especially since they were so reticent to introduce themselves that we had to blunder about their trap-filled hallways and smash one of their golems before they would even talk to us.
They are led by an eerily-familiar woman who calls herself the Seneschal of the Keep, and who evades inquiries as to her proper name. They claim our mutual foe is called the “Isphit,” the unmakers of all things. As our group consists almost entirely of blithering idiots, our quest to find the final piece of the Staff of Ehlonna was laid bare before her. She told us of three temples where it might be found, and in return we must gather plants and slay horrific beings for her. We are allowed to stay in the keep as guests in the meantime.
Then there was the vision. Yes, once again Herakles failed to take a hint and smacked Nogori and I with another puzzling and pointless dream. This time, we saw some ghostly form of Arcadius fighting a dragon followed by Alcander jumping off a cliff into the ocean. Nogori got more out of the experience than I, likely because she and Herakles are on the same mental level. Also I learned far, far more than I ever cared to know about her sexual interests. If believing yourself to be a princess and lusting over sparkly vampires aren’t clear signs of insanity, I would like to know what is (but not personally).
Oh yes, and we met a monk from the previous monastery named Dantro who was investigating the fortress as well. I don’t remember him, but he says he remembers Hrogar and I. That we just so happened to be in the same isolated location far from anyone who could confirm his identity, and that he came to this place via an obsidian gateway, make him very suspicious. I don’t anticipate sleeping well tonight.
The fact that Herakles can easily travel about with such a dense and immovable object on his shoulders is proof enough to steer clear of him.
As we all have yet to be horribly mangled by either powerful monsters or incompetence, we rode out to investigate the island today, on giant rainbow-colored seahorses, in the apparent hopes of changing this.
The island itself is covered in fog and mist, which obscures a fortress. This place serves as the base of operations for a cult that claims to fight against the same forces we do. Nothing suspicious about this setup at all, especially since they were so reticent to introduce themselves that we had to blunder about their trap-filled hallways and smash one of their golems before they would even talk to us.
They are led by an eerily-familiar woman who calls herself the Seneschal of the Keep, and who evades inquiries as to her proper name. They claim our mutual foe is called the “Isphit,” the unmakers of all things. As our group consists almost entirely of blithering idiots, our quest to find the final piece of the Staff of Ehlonna was laid bare before her. She told us of three temples where it might be found, and in return we must gather plants and slay horrific beings for her. We are allowed to stay in the keep as guests in the meantime.
Then there was the vision. Yes, once again Herakles failed to take a hint and smacked Nogori and I with another puzzling and pointless dream. This time, we saw some ghostly form of Arcadius fighting a dragon followed by Alcander jumping off a cliff into the ocean. Nogori got more out of the experience than I, likely because she and Herakles are on the same mental level. Also I learned far, far more than I ever cared to know about her sexual interests. If believing yourself to be a princess and lusting over sparkly vampires aren’t clear signs of insanity, I would like to know what is (but not personally).
Oh yes, and we met a monk from the previous monastery named Dantro who was investigating the fortress as well. I don’t remember him, but he says he remembers Hrogar and I. That we just so happened to be in the same isolated location far from anyone who could confirm his identity, and that he came to this place via an obsidian gateway, make him very suspicious. I don’t anticipate sleeping well tonight.
The fact that Herakles can easily travel about with such a dense and immovable object on his shoulders is proof enough to steer clear of him.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Magical Girl Nirogi: Bored on an Island
BORED!
So I'm trying to be nice to the fishies, right? I mean, I could totally just ditch them and go exploring or something, like maybe go see whatever happened to the bad kitty, or find some ruins, or go swimming around near some shallows and see if I can get sailors to swim into the rocks and save them (and maybe they'd be more grateful than this bunch of fishies because, really, this bunch of fishies is LAME), or see how many things I can get the seneschal's servants to drop, or play the "Would Tupper be more of less useful if he were a..." game, or...
Well, so there's lots of stuff I could do, right, if I didn't care about staying on this stupid island, and I didn't care about getting them into, like, a lot of trouble.
But I'm being nice, right? I mean even beyond my attempts to find Tupper someone he can maybe settle down with, even if she is kind of weird, but probably better than whoever he's going to find who's going to put up with all that "Hey, can I hook your pretty ponies up to this stupid thing and maybe it'll rub rust onto them" and "Oh, look at me, I can totally help with the dishes, but only by smashing them on my face, because that's totally how I learned to disarm traps, so it should work with dishes too, right?" I mean, Sashie, he might be more useful if he was a rock.
Huh. I wonder if I could learn to turn him into a rock.
And why does he keep trying to be in all of my stupid journal entries? This journal is supposed to be for things that aren't stupid!
Unless... oh, gods, no. Nononononononononononononono.
My sister told me one time that if you're thinking about a boy all the time, it's because... because...
Gods, Ms. Diary. It's so horrible I can't even write it down! I mean, Tupper? He's just so... ewww, and his smell, and his being stupid, and the way his head is stupid, and, and, and, and I'm a Princess, and a Princess deserves someone nice, someone like Sashie, or maybe that Heracles guy, I mean someone divine or something, right? Or at least some nice, handsome prince. And I mean, I guess it's kind of cute the way he's so angry when I turn him into a frog or something, but NO! EW! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!
I'm not sure I can create enough water for the bath I need to take right now. But I'm going to go find out.
I'm so sorry, Ms. Diary, for soiling you like this. Maybe next time, I'll have some happier news. Like he's been eaten by a sealbear or something.
Ew.
So I'm trying to be nice to the fishies, right? I mean, I could totally just ditch them and go exploring or something, like maybe go see whatever happened to the bad kitty, or find some ruins, or go swimming around near some shallows and see if I can get sailors to swim into the rocks and save them (and maybe they'd be more grateful than this bunch of fishies because, really, this bunch of fishies is LAME), or see how many things I can get the seneschal's servants to drop, or play the "Would Tupper be more of less useful if he were a..." game, or...
Well, so there's lots of stuff I could do, right, if I didn't care about staying on this stupid island, and I didn't care about getting them into, like, a lot of trouble.
But I'm being nice, right? I mean even beyond my attempts to find Tupper someone he can maybe settle down with, even if she is kind of weird, but probably better than whoever he's going to find who's going to put up with all that "Hey, can I hook your pretty ponies up to this stupid thing and maybe it'll rub rust onto them" and "Oh, look at me, I can totally help with the dishes, but only by smashing them on my face, because that's totally how I learned to disarm traps, so it should work with dishes too, right?" I mean, Sashie, he might be more useful if he was a rock.
Huh. I wonder if I could learn to turn him into a rock.
And why does he keep trying to be in all of my stupid journal entries? This journal is supposed to be for things that aren't stupid!
Unless... oh, gods, no. Nononononononononononononono.
My sister told me one time that if you're thinking about a boy all the time, it's because... because...
Gods, Ms. Diary. It's so horrible I can't even write it down! I mean, Tupper? He's just so... ewww, and his smell, and his being stupid, and the way his head is stupid, and, and, and, and I'm a Princess, and a Princess deserves someone nice, someone like Sashie, or maybe that Heracles guy, I mean someone divine or something, right? Or at least some nice, handsome prince. And I mean, I guess it's kind of cute the way he's so angry when I turn him into a frog or something, but NO! EW! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!
I'm not sure I can create enough water for the bath I need to take right now. But I'm going to go find out.
I'm so sorry, Ms. Diary, for soiling you like this. Maybe next time, I'll have some happier news. Like he's been eaten by a sealbear or something.
Ew.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Well those two ever shut up….
We continued searching the hallway. Sadly the people of this keep knew every step we took, since Nigori and Tupper will not stop fighting. They are both like children. I do know how any nation can see these people as worth combatants. The children of 10 back home show better restraint. Anyway back to the report. We came across a leader of the keep. It appears they are trying to fight the same creatures we are. At least that is what they claim. We have decided that we will do a few quests to aid them, in hopes we can get some good intel on our enemy. We will be heading through a portal to collect some plats. We will be given 4 days to get back to the portal, or we will need to travel home by other means. Our departure was delayed; Mistera had some things she needed to take of. So in the mean time we will stay at the keep trying not to cause problems. This is going to be a long few days..
Musings of Mistera - The Dark.
By the gods' grace, we may have found allies.
We found them after wandering through the passageways, some more hidden than others. I stayed silent for a while, with Nigori and Hrogar doing most of the talking, which ended up going nowhere fast. I sighed and spilled the beans, telling them exactly why we were here, what we're fighting, and what we're searching for.
Turns out that so far we have similar goals, and they've arranged for us to get to a nearby temple, which happens to have a rare plant that they want us to gather.
For once the gods are smiling upon our fortune. My smile continues through my first watch and only slowly fades away once caught in the arms of slumber.
---
A dim room.
A darker adversary.
The shadowy presence before the paladins cackles as their attacks fly through its form. Cries of anguish rise from my companions - old battle scars open and ooze blood with each swing of their mighty weapons. Nigori openly weeps, her arsenal of spells backfire, inflicting such pain on her loyal subjects.
My quarterstaff grows so heavy... and cold. It glistens, a blackened blade, a dark twisted claymore.
And it hungers.
I stop Nigori's screaming - through her chest with the blade. The steel lightens, the second stab into Nigori's young flesh swifter. I know she's dead as she drops Squirtle to the ground, who deliciously crunches underneath my boots seconds later.
Sztuczka is a single-swing kill, the blade cleanly separating her head from her shoulders, silencing her singing. Blood sprays across my face, and I can't help but break out into a wide smile and cackle.
Azam might have been a match had he turned around quick enough. I kick his legs out from under him and bring the blade into his heart.
The blade of black ends Blackender, with red swelling up from his multiple incisions.
Tupper cried like a little girl as I gutted him, dying at the sight of his entrails spilling to the ground.
All that's left is Hrogar, who is armed and ready. He bares down on me with his weapon, which I swing to parry - the black cuts straight through his weapon, leaving only the handle left. I only catch a glimpse of his face, staring at bewilderment at the remains of his protection as I fly into a flourish, letting the blade swing me around before catching him in the face. He staggers and recovers, but he now has no escape from the blade's terrible fury. The blade skewers him, and I shove my grinning face into his before kicking his dying body off my blade.
My laughter closely echoes with the shadows.
---
Wake up in a cold sweat. Something's wrong.
I tell the paladins nothing of last night, only that I need to do something.
I'll be back to help, but dear Artemis, please do not let my taint disrupt this mission.
I only pray that when I come back, I have done the right thing.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
From the Journal of Hrogar (Five Entries)
We returned to the gnomish submarine after fighting the Aboleth only to find that no one was there. All the gnomes, as well as Hrefna had all vanished. After trying to find out what had happened (and failing, but wasting time and making fools of ourselves in the process) we decided to return back to the temple and try to finish off the Aboleth at least. We also did some more searching through the temple and found a hidden crypt. We did not fully investigate it yet, but I fully intend to return to do so. When we returned to the cavern we had fought it in earlier, we did not find the Arboleth, but did find an apparent minion of the beast.
We entered into battle with an apparent psion or wizard. As there was a fair amount of room in the chamber we were fighting in, I was able to summon my mount and make use of my mounted combat training. Unfortunately, that bastard was able to cast some kind of spell that caused me to take some of any damage done to him. Thus, every time I struck the enemy, I did significant damage to myself as well. Luckily, I didn’t take as much damage as he did, and eventually, with all of us combined, we were able to defeat him.
------
As we were returning to the submarine after defeating the minion of the Aboleth, Fflam was once again taken control of and started attacking us. He did some serious damage, but luckily we were able to defeat him without killing him. We really must find some way to keep that from happening in the future.
After we returned to the submarine, Nigori and Tupper argued over using her ponies to pull the submarine. Tupper needs to know what battles he should fight and what battles he should pass on. Arguing with the temperamental princess on how she should use her magic to move a giant metal monstrosity we don’t need nor particularly want isn’t the best use of ones time, and as Tupper has learned, tends to get one turned into a frog.
While we didn’t use Nigori’s magical sea-ponies to haul the submarine, she and I were able to use them to scout out a nearby island where the gnomes might have escaped to if they had to abandon the ship for some reason unknown to us. When we got there, we found an island covered in a mysterious mist. The smell reminded us of the Aboleth. This may be where it is hiding.
We were then left with a decision, should we go investigate the island, or the crypt we found in the temple? I worried that with the Aboleth sicking Fflam against us as soon as we left the temple the last time, it seemed to be trying to distract us from the temple. If so, we should finish the job there first. After some debating, I was able to convince the others that we should head back down and finish the temple off, before heading off to the mysterious island. So the temple and its crypt is where we shall go next.
------
I am still stunned from the day’s events. Our leader and comrade, Fflam, has died. We were searching the crypt we had found earlier, and found an evil sword and throne, as well as a dozen sarcophagi. I knew we would have to open them up one by one and insure there was nothing dangerous left in them, but before that happened an evil force coalesced out of the air and took human form. An accursed lich!
We fought the creature valiantly. He sent wave after wave of enemy against us. First pseudonatural creatures, and then he protected himself with an impenetrable field while he had his specters escape their sarcophagi and attack us. We had a hard time with them as we were not sure if our attacks were even hitting them.
Finally, we defeated them and were able to try to finish off the lich, and were succeeding at it, but in his last act, he threw a fireball at the ground where he stood, destroying his body, as his soul is elsewhere, and damaging those of us attacking him and killing Fflam. Fflam died the way he lived: in a giant ball of fire.
I jest, because I take consolation in the knowledge that Fflam gave instructions for us to take enough his body back to his family such that they can return life to him if they so choose. I am certain that when they hear of his exploits, they will no doubt do so.
------
After returning the Gnomes back to the ship (they had been held prisoner within the temple), and finding out where Hrefna had disappeared off to (another plane), we’ve gone off to check out what was going on at the island Nigori and I found covered in mist. Upon exploring the island we found a short fortress covers much of the island. The fortress is only about a story tall, but no doubt it descends into the earth, who knows how deep it goes.
Tupper entered the fortress first, then set off a trap that lowered an iron portcullis which stopped the rest of us from following. As we were trying to find an alternate way in/figure out how to open the portcullis, Tupper was knocked unconscious and started getting dragged away from the door and further into the fortress by a mysterious entity that we could not see. We quickly used metamorphosis spells to get the group through the bars, and were able to keep Tupper from being dragged off. But we still don’t know exactly who the person was dragging away Tupper, as they escaped.
While searching through the fortress, we came across a golem we had to defeat, and while we were fighting, we were joined in our fight by a monk. He was able to provide valuable assistance in the fight, and will be continuing on with us. He is apparently one of the monks from a fortress my group met previously, the same fortress they left the other staff piece at. He was sent a vision that he should help us, and here he is. We can certainly use the help.
------
I really must reign in Nigori, but I must do so carefully. I can’t keep letting her turn Tupper into a frog all the time, for one thing. Even if it is Tupper. Her maturity level borders between a young child to a teenager, but mostly a young child (I've known 12-year-olds that showed more maturity for longer stretches of time). But since she's an elf, she might still be over a hundred years old.
Immaturity aside, she is quite useful, having the ability to grant us all important abilities when we must work underwater, but she can be quite temperamental. She’s not as bad as A. Hab was, but I must remember the lesson learned from that scenario: women are crazy and will frequently overreact. We don’t want to piss Nigori off to the degree that she storms off leaving us underwater somewhere and Tupper stuck as a frog.
We investigated the island, and eventually discovered the Seneschal of the fortress. From what they say, the keepers of this fortress are fellow enemies of the Encroaching Darkness from the Depths. In fact, they seem to know quite a bit about said Darkness, and have been more forthcoming with information about it than many others we have met. I will have to gather as much information as I can while here.
The keepers of this fortress have agreed to tell us where the final piece of the Staff of Elhona is, or at least the top three possible locations. I personally wouldn’t have been so quick to even mention it to these people, since we don’t know for sure that what they say is the truth, although I did not notice any lying when they stated their allegiance. But even if they are enemies of our enemies, that doesn’t mean that they are our friends, or that they wouldn’t try to take it from us and use it themselves. If what they say about it is true, it is indeed a terrifying weapon, and one I would not want in the wrong hands. But what’s done is done.
To prove our own claims of being enemies of the Darkness, the seneschal has decided to send us on a number of quests that will prove it by hurting said Darkness and its allies. But before we go, Mistera has left on a quest of her own that she apparently can’t tell us anything about. She says she’ll be back in a week. I must make use of this time to prepare for the upcoming quests.
We entered into battle with an apparent psion or wizard. As there was a fair amount of room in the chamber we were fighting in, I was able to summon my mount and make use of my mounted combat training. Unfortunately, that bastard was able to cast some kind of spell that caused me to take some of any damage done to him. Thus, every time I struck the enemy, I did significant damage to myself as well. Luckily, I didn’t take as much damage as he did, and eventually, with all of us combined, we were able to defeat him.
------
As we were returning to the submarine after defeating the minion of the Aboleth, Fflam was once again taken control of and started attacking us. He did some serious damage, but luckily we were able to defeat him without killing him. We really must find some way to keep that from happening in the future.
After we returned to the submarine, Nigori and Tupper argued over using her ponies to pull the submarine. Tupper needs to know what battles he should fight and what battles he should pass on. Arguing with the temperamental princess on how she should use her magic to move a giant metal monstrosity we don’t need nor particularly want isn’t the best use of ones time, and as Tupper has learned, tends to get one turned into a frog.
While we didn’t use Nigori’s magical sea-ponies to haul the submarine, she and I were able to use them to scout out a nearby island where the gnomes might have escaped to if they had to abandon the ship for some reason unknown to us. When we got there, we found an island covered in a mysterious mist. The smell reminded us of the Aboleth. This may be where it is hiding.
We were then left with a decision, should we go investigate the island, or the crypt we found in the temple? I worried that with the Aboleth sicking Fflam against us as soon as we left the temple the last time, it seemed to be trying to distract us from the temple. If so, we should finish the job there first. After some debating, I was able to convince the others that we should head back down and finish the temple off, before heading off to the mysterious island. So the temple and its crypt is where we shall go next.
------
I am still stunned from the day’s events. Our leader and comrade, Fflam, has died. We were searching the crypt we had found earlier, and found an evil sword and throne, as well as a dozen sarcophagi. I knew we would have to open them up one by one and insure there was nothing dangerous left in them, but before that happened an evil force coalesced out of the air and took human form. An accursed lich!
We fought the creature valiantly. He sent wave after wave of enemy against us. First pseudonatural creatures, and then he protected himself with an impenetrable field while he had his specters escape their sarcophagi and attack us. We had a hard time with them as we were not sure if our attacks were even hitting them.
Finally, we defeated them and were able to try to finish off the lich, and were succeeding at it, but in his last act, he threw a fireball at the ground where he stood, destroying his body, as his soul is elsewhere, and damaging those of us attacking him and killing Fflam. Fflam died the way he lived: in a giant ball of fire.
I jest, because I take consolation in the knowledge that Fflam gave instructions for us to take enough his body back to his family such that they can return life to him if they so choose. I am certain that when they hear of his exploits, they will no doubt do so.
------
After returning the Gnomes back to the ship (they had been held prisoner within the temple), and finding out where Hrefna had disappeared off to (another plane), we’ve gone off to check out what was going on at the island Nigori and I found covered in mist. Upon exploring the island we found a short fortress covers much of the island. The fortress is only about a story tall, but no doubt it descends into the earth, who knows how deep it goes.
Tupper entered the fortress first, then set off a trap that lowered an iron portcullis which stopped the rest of us from following. As we were trying to find an alternate way in/figure out how to open the portcullis, Tupper was knocked unconscious and started getting dragged away from the door and further into the fortress by a mysterious entity that we could not see. We quickly used metamorphosis spells to get the group through the bars, and were able to keep Tupper from being dragged off. But we still don’t know exactly who the person was dragging away Tupper, as they escaped.
While searching through the fortress, we came across a golem we had to defeat, and while we were fighting, we were joined in our fight by a monk. He was able to provide valuable assistance in the fight, and will be continuing on with us. He is apparently one of the monks from a fortress my group met previously, the same fortress they left the other staff piece at. He was sent a vision that he should help us, and here he is. We can certainly use the help.
------
I really must reign in Nigori, but I must do so carefully. I can’t keep letting her turn Tupper into a frog all the time, for one thing. Even if it is Tupper. Her maturity level borders between a young child to a teenager, but mostly a young child (I've known 12-year-olds that showed more maturity for longer stretches of time). But since she's an elf, she might still be over a hundred years old.
Immaturity aside, she is quite useful, having the ability to grant us all important abilities when we must work underwater, but she can be quite temperamental. She’s not as bad as A. Hab was, but I must remember the lesson learned from that scenario: women are crazy and will frequently overreact. We don’t want to piss Nigori off to the degree that she storms off leaving us underwater somewhere and Tupper stuck as a frog.
We investigated the island, and eventually discovered the Seneschal of the fortress. From what they say, the keepers of this fortress are fellow enemies of the Encroaching Darkness from the Depths. In fact, they seem to know quite a bit about said Darkness, and have been more forthcoming with information about it than many others we have met. I will have to gather as much information as I can while here.
The keepers of this fortress have agreed to tell us where the final piece of the Staff of Elhona is, or at least the top three possible locations. I personally wouldn’t have been so quick to even mention it to these people, since we don’t know for sure that what they say is the truth, although I did not notice any lying when they stated their allegiance. But even if they are enemies of our enemies, that doesn’t mean that they are our friends, or that they wouldn’t try to take it from us and use it themselves. If what they say about it is true, it is indeed a terrifying weapon, and one I would not want in the wrong hands. But what’s done is done.
To prove our own claims of being enemies of the Darkness, the seneschal has decided to send us on a number of quests that will prove it by hurting said Darkness and its allies. But before we go, Mistera has left on a quest of her own that she apparently can’t tell us anything about. She says she’ll be back in a week. I must make use of this time to prepare for the upcoming quests.
Magical Princess Nigori: 0 Brides for 1 Tupper
Dear Ms. Diary,
Do you ever feel like your kind hearted, well thought out attempts to help your subjects go completely unappreciated? I mean, like, you really, really thought about what they needed, and you tried really hard to get them what they needed, and then they're all, like, "Hey, I said my house was cold, but that didn't mean I wanted a magma vent there?" I mean, Sashelas, people can be picky. I mean, you can swim, right? So just don't touch the floor and it'll be the most awesome house ever. I'd practically live there myself, but I've already got a house, so no. And I'm also totally not marrying some old woman, just because you don't want to, and it happens to be the only chance in your whole life anyone might marry you, and I'm even paying your dowry. Do you have any idea how long I'm going to have to wait for my allowance to make back that ten gold?
Well, okay, like an hour, but that's not the point! It's the thought that counts, darn it, and I tried to find Tupper a nice wife, someone he could settle down with, who has nice servants to cook his meals, and enough magic to keep his feet warm, and all those nice things boys are supposed to like. Someone he could settle down with, retire from his life of adventuring, and stop getting in my way with his stupid head and his stupid "Hey, we should tow that ugly boat with your pretty aqua ponies."
AND, when I was unconscious, and maybe dead, well I think maybe dead, which would make all those ghosts alive people, or I was alive, but just not in my body, in which case, would that make them dead? And would I really be alive if I wasn't with my body, or more like some kind of spectre or something, and then I'd have to work for some stupid lich, and that wouldn't be very fun. But anyway! while I was doing... that, whatever that was, Tupper followed me there, too! And he didn't want to explore at all, and didn't like it when I tried to make the pretty paladin boy, who he apparently knew, arcdish or something, and he didn't like it when I stuck my head in the dragon, which was totally safe, because the dragon was dead or I was or whatever, and he didn't want to explore and didn't even come with me when I jumped off that cliff! There was water underneath. He probably wouldn't have died. Though he wouldn't have been manly, either, and squished those spiders like a boy should. I mean, if they're not squishing spiders who, by the way, SHOULDN'T EVEN BE UNDERWATER, then what good are boys? I know octopi that are handier than him. Though the lion guy looked pretty handy. At least like he would have crushed some spiders, if they weren't alive or dead or whatever.
Oh, and illithids? Totally shouldn't be the same kind of dead I am. That's totally not fair. Though he woke me up, so that was nice of him, and if Tupper had been fun at all, he would have gotten woken up, too, but no. Lame!
And is it just me, or is Hrogar getting kind of annoying? It's like he thinks I'm a little kid or something, and can't see through his oh-so-patronizing crap.
Stupid boys.
Maybe I should just give up and date you when Sashie's not around, Ms. Diary. You never talk back to me, and you're never mean. If you were a boy, you'd totally be awesome.
Oh, well. Until next time, Ms. Diary!
Do you ever feel like your kind hearted, well thought out attempts to help your subjects go completely unappreciated? I mean, like, you really, really thought about what they needed, and you tried really hard to get them what they needed, and then they're all, like, "Hey, I said my house was cold, but that didn't mean I wanted a magma vent there?" I mean, Sashelas, people can be picky. I mean, you can swim, right? So just don't touch the floor and it'll be the most awesome house ever. I'd practically live there myself, but I've already got a house, so no. And I'm also totally not marrying some old woman, just because you don't want to, and it happens to be the only chance in your whole life anyone might marry you, and I'm even paying your dowry. Do you have any idea how long I'm going to have to wait for my allowance to make back that ten gold?
Well, okay, like an hour, but that's not the point! It's the thought that counts, darn it, and I tried to find Tupper a nice wife, someone he could settle down with, who has nice servants to cook his meals, and enough magic to keep his feet warm, and all those nice things boys are supposed to like. Someone he could settle down with, retire from his life of adventuring, and stop getting in my way with his stupid head and his stupid "Hey, we should tow that ugly boat with your pretty aqua ponies."
AND, when I was unconscious, and maybe dead, well I think maybe dead, which would make all those ghosts alive people, or I was alive, but just not in my body, in which case, would that make them dead? And would I really be alive if I wasn't with my body, or more like some kind of spectre or something, and then I'd have to work for some stupid lich, and that wouldn't be very fun. But anyway! while I was doing... that, whatever that was, Tupper followed me there, too! And he didn't want to explore at all, and didn't like it when I tried to make the pretty paladin boy, who he apparently knew, arcdish or something, and he didn't like it when I stuck my head in the dragon, which was totally safe, because the dragon was dead or I was or whatever, and he didn't want to explore and didn't even come with me when I jumped off that cliff! There was water underneath. He probably wouldn't have died. Though he wouldn't have been manly, either, and squished those spiders like a boy should. I mean, if they're not squishing spiders who, by the way, SHOULDN'T EVEN BE UNDERWATER, then what good are boys? I know octopi that are handier than him. Though the lion guy looked pretty handy. At least like he would have crushed some spiders, if they weren't alive or dead or whatever.
Oh, and illithids? Totally shouldn't be the same kind of dead I am. That's totally not fair. Though he woke me up, so that was nice of him, and if Tupper had been fun at all, he would have gotten woken up, too, but no. Lame!
And is it just me, or is Hrogar getting kind of annoying? It's like he thinks I'm a little kid or something, and can't see through his oh-so-patronizing crap.
Stupid boys.
Maybe I should just give up and date you when Sashie's not around, Ms. Diary. You never talk back to me, and you're never mean. If you were a boy, you'd totally be awesome.
Oh, well. Until next time, Ms. Diary!
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